I have sometimes been asked if I had ever thought of seeking revenge for the injustices that were perpetrated on us during the years we were fighting for the survival of our ranch.  Yes, I did think about it.

One afternoon after Manu and I had spent several exhausting hours excavating another ditch blockage of rocks and gravel, I stood there in anger gazing down at the neighboring ditch which always had an unobstructed flow of irrigation water running through it.  Motivated by my worst emotion, I picked up a football sized rock that we had just lifted from our own water flow and tossed it in to the neighboring ditch.  Oh how sweet!  “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

Manu saw what I had done and quickly advised me against such a thing.

“They’ll use it against you to justify their action,” he said.

The solitary rock remained and as my wise husband predicted, our adversary accused us of blocking his ditch.

“How did you know it was wrong to toss one rock in the water?” I asked.

He explained to me when someone is filled with hate and wants to make a case against you, even in his own mind, he will latch on to the tiniest bit of evidence to validate his own self-talk.  I came to understand the rock was a gift to the perpetrator.  We see this story played out through history and right up in to current news cycles.  If we are going to learn to live in peace with each other as a species, we could begin by stopping this slug match approach to engagement. It’s hard to open your mind when your hands are closed into fists.

“While seeking revenge, dig two graves–one for yourself.”—Doug Horton

Featured photo by: Peter Forster